Friday, August 30, 2013

Is Spanking a Lifestyle?

Welcome Thianna D to Romance Beckons.
For Thianna D, reading and writing are as important as breathing and far more important than math or science. A storyteller from the time she could speak, she was always making up characters as a kid. As a teenager that turned to sci-fi and fantasy, as an adult to romance. It wasn’t until her fourth decade that she began writing erotic scenes within her stories.

Writing M/M came naturally to her; she wrote her first tale before ever having read one. “There is something about the amazing dynamic between two strong men falling in love and defeating anything thrown at them.” While she had written several BDSM stories involving men, As Natural As Breathing was the first full-length novel involving domestic discipline.

You can find out more of what is going on with her at
Thianna D’s Blog | Thianna D’s Author Site | Goodreads | Twitter | Facebook

The title of this article might make you raise an eyebrow or nod your head emphatically, but I want to say that spanking can most definitely be a lifestyle or just part of it.

First off, let’s define lifestyle: the way in which a person or group lives.

So, a spanking lifestyle would be a person whose life revolves around spanking in some way. Is that possible? Yes. In many ways actually.

Reading:
For instance, there are some of you that though you might not have it in your daily life, you ‘live it’ by reading (or writing) about it. It fulfills a need you have that you cannot express in your outward (I use the term outward rather than normal as to many of us, spanking is normal) lifestyle. But inwardly? You are a spanko with a capital S! You buy up every book you can read on it, whether it is erotic or not. Descriptions of everything from over-the-knee spankings, to being bent over the back of the couch and walloped by a belt, to being tied to a tree and thwacked with a switch give you what you need to be happy…even though it does not ‘exist’ in the physical world. It is still part of your lifestyle – just a hidden one, for without it you would not be whole.

Fetish:
Let’s face it – Spanking turns you on. The sound of the smack, the rush of the heat, the throbbing of the pain the next day every time you sit down…it all gets to you. You seek it out for sexual enjoyment, to make you hot, essentially to get your jollies. And guess what? So do a lot of other people! Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Hopefully your partner (or partners) is into it to, wherein you can truly make this fetish a huge part of your life. Shall we talk about floggers and belts covering the wall? Slappers? Paddles? Do you have a special spot? A spanking bench all your own? Oh, wait, we aren’t talking about my place…but still, if spanking is a fetish and you and your partner(s) enjoy it? Look for it and you will find that it has become a part of how you live. 

Discipline:
How we think of spanking mostly is as discipline (though it definitely does not have to be). But it can be a very good discipline form. And for those for whom domestic discipline is part of their relationship that use spanking as punishment? It is a way of life. Not only does the pain hurt…and not necessarily in a good way (that’s funishment, not punishment), but it helps an individual in a consensual adult relationship to change bad habits and also to let go of guilt or other bad emotions they may be carrying around.

It is such an intense part of such a commitment, that in the case of discipline, spanking helps mold the lifestyle. Though, it is not the only form of punishment. After all, the thing is to find what works and if spanking makes someone act worse so they get one, then an alternate form of discipline would be used. 

Do you schedule time for a spanking? Need it to get to sleep? Need it before a good roll in the hay? Though, I would not necessarily suggest hay—I always think it will get places I do not want it to get. Then again, that may work for you.

Voyeurism:
And here we come to one most people probably don’t think about, but as a species we are a bunch of watchers. We truly are. Shall we mention the amount of websites with spanking videos? Stories? Vignettes? No? Didn’t think so. You already have them saved on your computer, don’t you? Or maybe you just Chross them weekly. Reading also falls under this, but here I am mainly talking about watching spanking as a lifestyle. It could be sexual or not. Maybe you just enjoy watching someone’s ass turn a nice cherry red. Or by seeing someone else punished, you feel absolved in absentia for some misdeed of your own as you aren’t getting a spanking yourself.

There are many ways that spanking can become a part of one’s lifestyle and each way is as individual as one’s own relationship. Morning? Noon? Night? Discipline? Erotic Romance? Videos? Sex? Some will never understand why we get off on spanking. But guess what? So what? There are probably things they do that would make us go: “That makes you horny. Really?”

I will be the first one to say that I did not grow up with thoughts on spanking – though yes, my erotic day dreams were kinky as hell – but the first time I got one as an adult and his hand slammed into my sit spot? I was sold. Now, I cannot live without it. Of the four above, I fall into the first three and am happy to say so.

So, in what way does spanking affect your lifestyle?

Thianna D has a new Spanking Romance novel out. CHECK IT OUT.

As Natural As Breathing
Length: Novel
Genre: Gay Spanking Romance

For Christian Darringer, life isn’t worth living. Just back from the Middle East; scarred and with permanent damage to one leg, he does not think anyone will want him for anything. Meeting a gorgeous man he finds himself thinking about constantly is not in his plans. Pulled toward the startling younger man with striking blue eyes, he begins to question a lot of things – especially his sexuality. Not one to hide from a challenge, he plunges ahead only to find himself more than just attracted to Logan who is full of life and joy, he finds himself head over heels in love.

Logan Mannette has almost everything he ever wanted: loving parents, happiness, friends and security. The only thing missing is finding the love of his life, a love that is just like his parents’. When he meets Christian at a party, everything changes. Instantly attracted, he does his best to help this sad man and quickly finds himself feeling more than he has ever felt before. Raised in a domestic discipline household, he holds that ideal as what he wants but his interest in spanking became a fetish and when Christian admits that he wants to be spanked, Logan believes he might have found the perfect man.

Just as everything begins for them, Christian’s past intercedes and one of his brothers makes waves about him dating a man. If it weren’t for Logan’s support, he might fold; but with the love of one amazing man, Christian finds that living his life rather than just existing is as natural as breathing.

You can find As Natural As Breathing at Amazon | Amazon UK | Barnes & Noble.
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